# Conflict Management - Resolving Issues

# Managing Conflict Effectively

# Step 1: Use your EQ

Look back at how you felt during the conflict:

  1. Label the emotion: e.g 'Anger', 'Fear', 'Frustration'
  2. Identify the thought / belief that triggered the emotion:
  3. Consider alternative explanations to your interpretation of the situation:

# Step 2: Separate interests vs. positions

  1. What are the other person’s underlying needs/interests? Why have they adopted their position? What goal does it serve?
  2. Intention (your view)
    1. What are my interests and ultimate goals?
    2. What do I need from the other person to achieve your goals?

# The Framework for Collaboration

1) Name the Elephant

Recognise there is a problem and call out the conflict: What is the best, most direct way to constructively express the issue? (Remember the Situation, Behaviour, Impact model)

2) Listen & Empathise

Understand in detail why they are resisting; their needs not position. Take the time to ask the other person questions to understand their perspective. Try to be open to their point of view, even if it’s uncomfortable for you.

3) Find Common Ground

Establish an area of agreement to build on. Try to find the common interest or goal you have.

4) Jointly Problem Solve

Search for a mutually acceptable solution together. Brainstorm different options and try to find a compromise.

# Plan Your Conflict Resolution Session

Set up

  • State purpose of meeting
  • State the ground rules / process


  • Acknowledge & validate needs
  • De-personalise
  • Actively listen & summarise
  • Use “I” statements


  • Identify a solution / compromise
  • Create plan of action

Self-reflection questions

  1. What did you notice about your style of conflict?
  2. What emotional response did you have? How did you manage that?
  3. Were you willing to compromise?